Moreover, are there any blokes reading that can empathise at all? I think it stands alone in such instances as sexuak attractiveness, desire, and participation. I am too consumed with worry that I wont be able to pay the piper at nights end or if I am able to force myself to get through it, I try to rush it along as much as I can. But isnt it at least a relationship problem? You are way out of line to assume the woman above is teasing her boyfriend. Webthat you are fat. made his final sign out of his command at group at midnight the 26th of May he thentook the rental back to avis and was in the airport bar with a coke saying goodby to his crewmates and trother who had extended to go to Kittery Main with his fianc. I had researched him before hand on facebook and felt at ease because he was newly married (about 1.5 years) and his wife was incredibly beautiful. Some people feel disgusted by physical touch because they have experienced trauma, whether its sexual trauma or another type. Im so scared about my feelings, that I have sex with him anyway, just so he doesnt feel like I dont love him and also because I know a man, as well as women, have needs, and I would be scared he would leave me if I didnt take care of these needs. men have ruined sex with their evil disgusting ways plain and simply. Hopefully I can build on this. Hi Quinn, I am very affectionate and love to hug and touch but I dont as I cannot be inconsistent and expect my boundaries to be respected if I seek any physical touch. I would say that If she says that she still loves you.. then perhaps she is just going through a period of depression right now. Me, I just wanted to listen to 50s music, and watch The Golden Girls haha. It reminds me of some alien movie or something of some weird species infecting someone. Hi all, I have definitely dealt with forced sexual activities during my late adolescent years. I never experienced a sexual trauma, or any other traumas. This is an important distinction. It really confuses me lately. Still love her, just dont like her anymore (if that makes any sense). I also never express it out loud and do my best to fake it as to never make him feel undesired. The same thing happened on night 2. But she doesnt even consider for a minute that she, or we, could do something about it. I always loved and worshipped my wife, then I learned affairs can happen from the self, meaning a broken moral compass, very low self esteem, hitting rock bottom, etc. Realizing that I was apart of that problem, made me feel horrible, but, it helped knowing what had caused this sexual drop off. It is the saddest thing that has happen in our relationship. I resent feeling I have to drive or I do not feel safe. It just feels awful to me! I havent had sex since, and feel totally like a mis-fit. How were you able to fake getting excited? But, this seems to be such a common problem in relationships. There are two different topics of discussion here. Im very confused about myself, because I am in my early 20s, and its not that Ive grown into sexual aversion.but that its an on-and-off type of thing for me. I , with repentance and Gods help built my life back up. I want to enjoy it. What you wrote really struck a chord with me because, well. I just wish there was some way I could have found this out before marrying her. My wife has told me she does not want anyone right now and nothing i am doing is making her happy. He is not interested in a marriage with you or even towing his own weight. We did not know for a year he would not be allowed to reenlist due to the way his mental attitude had developed when he was mostly under watrer for three and a half years The navy even apologized for the wayhe sliped through the regs requiring a certain amount of time without being on patrol. My ex husband up and left over 6 years ago and I absolutely refuse to allow a man to pursue me. While Im having sex and after, I feel dirty and sick to my stomach. I dont think you are a freak, but if you are unlike me in the sense that you love your husband (I had a lot of resentment towards mine for his lack of compassion), I hope that you are able to take this information and get help. I just looked at her in awe. I also stopped trying to touch her anywhere other than her hands. Especially in formative years, such as childhood and adolescence, the brain is creating pathways to understand sexuality. Or maybe some sort of repressed feelings from before that are not yet able to acknowledge? ! It could be something serious, like childhood abuse, or recent trauma. Cathy, WebTo do this, they've broken down disgust into several distinct categories: foods or potential foods; body products; certain animals; death (e.g. I had a similar feeling growing up. How is this so? Until you yourself can understand what is causing the aversion then your partner has no hope of ever understanding it. Disgust often comes up in response to poisonous or toxic people, where deep trust and love has been betrayed. (and Im a man!) Sexual aversion does not happen in a vacuum. Perhaps separating from the other is best so that they do not suffer. I always do what I want to do, when I want, dont have a feeble man around who is just like another f$cking kid to take care of. He cares more for me than anyone I have known but for me alcohol, regular drinking is like a wall. First of all weve been married 50 years and I really never liked touch her nor having sex with her. So youre repelled if you feel nauseous, nervous or frozen that I can understand but your also repelled if you feel nothing???? While I agree that culture, religion, gender and sexual orientation are all important factors to consider in any study about sex, to I experienced sexual trauma my first time and abuse by the same guy afterward. Hi Ashley, (I was drugged 3 out of the 5 times I was date raped at least I dont remember it, but I cannot begin to tell you how it feels to wake up 12-15 hours later somewhere and you dont know how you got there and are completely naked. Are commonalities were sparse, he drank spirits nightly and smoked heavily. I would say, as a female, I would not blame you if you have an affair if your wife will not fulfill your needs. I want to give her pleasure and see her lose herself in sensation for just a brief moment. i have a boyfriend who does not want to be touched, he feels irritated whenever i touch him. Do you know how frustrating that is? Hi KC I completely understand and can relate to every word you said. Sometimes I wonder if Im Asexual I dont know. My entire body and mind screams no, dont touch me but I cant say that out loud, so I deflect. I had no idea. When I was more sexually active, I had this fear that if I dont have sex then my sexual libido will disappear completely, and when my recent partner started saying no to sex often, I found myself completely always turned off all the time. I feel that I no longer want to have sex because I am not in love anymore, even though I do love him but I am not in love with him. how can I get over this? play. I also grew up knowing that my father put a lot of pressure on my mother sexually and that made me extra sensitive to being used sexually, instead of being treated as an equal partner with sex being the natural outcome of that love. Its very sad I wish more men where kinder and would think with their minds, rather then their di*ks. Usually when I have sex I am just trying to get through it as fast as I can. If you cant be open and work as a team to ensure you are both happy, then there isnt much of a point to staying together aside from financial help, children, etc. Though I can look at myself naked in the mirror now and accept it, releasing any blame I may have assigned to myself there isnt anything I can do about it and the only way I could have stopped it was for someone to tell me that I would be scarred and physically damaged by it, then I would have not had children at all. Do other women on this forum feel like she does? You may also be covering up a fear of not knowing what to do if youre approached for sex. It may be some of us are just way too sensitive to this. That way she will know how your feeling and have an understanding of what may happen if she does not fulfill your needs, and hey, you never know, she may just give you the sex you need, or.. she will turn a blind eye and tolerate you being with another woman, as a lot of woman do. I was fine having sex with my boyfriend of 7 years and had orgasms myself, but it all went downhill very quickly. Their enjoyment is yet another question, but I would NOT call it an aversion if under certain conditions they can engage in, and enjoy sex. I would consider myself an empath or a highly sensitive person and I do think energy exchange is a big part of it. Its all allowed. We knew the cause: sexuality + anger, resentment, arguing, drinking = sexual aversion. I was lectured by the ombudsman that I was not to discuss any thing but reenlisting. When we got divorced, I felt relieved and happy at the thought that no man would ever touch me again. It is physically impossible. I hate hate hate sex. It is society that is defective. He makes you live a lie in your heart and carry all the weight. Two different things. Who wants to have sex with someone who turns their back on you??! I do get a feeling of disgusts while having sex, even though I love him, but I still do it and take care of him. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. It has become apparent that I suffer from this disorder. Disgust often comes up in response to poisonous or toxic people, where deep trust and love has been betrayed. I do now enjoy sexual interaction with someone because I experience him as balanced and respectful, and its all about his energy and that he never would take from me. She just accepts that this is the way she is now and I must do the same. I have been married to my husband for over 6yrs now. I cant figure out whether if i hate having sex or love having sex because if flip flops, I have bi polar disorder and severe aniexty could it be associated with these dis orders. Two weeks latter it was my time to pay for the broken promises of 31 years When he took me to the floor and had his way as I begged couldnt we try and work things out over time. Then 45 minutes latter WW3 broke out in the living room His mother was begging please dont hurt your father please some body help. I simply dont like sex. if I had not, I would have been gang raped in an alley and this happened in an affluent area of town one of the most expensive places in America to live. This is EXACTLY how I feel. But he always says..he loves me and wants to be with me. I was punished over any sign of anything sexual. It seems like Im punishing my poor husband, which I dont mean to do. I notice that female commenters get lots of love and support for their stories, male commenters, even those bringing up very sad tales of sexual issues get no response. Our society tells us that we must have sex every day or else something is wrong with us. I absolutely loathe sex now because he has ruined it for me by demanding things he has seen on a screen that are not fun, comfortable, or sexy for me. Yes. He is not aggressive with me at all, I just cannot stand the smell of alcohol on skin and cannot at all trust anyone who drinks. Sucks to see there are women pushing themselves to service their partners needs and enduring this shit, that is so heartbreaking. That he had not had a vacation or day off since 1981 without me standing there crying did he really have to have that time off, job, or shift because somebody else needed it. Im sorry that you have had such horrible experiences with men. (I use the word empath for convenience, as I do not know a better word to use to describe the sensitive state of being I am speaking of.) Saying Nothing. is not an acceptable answer. Like clearly, Im sleeping, doing homework, watching a video on my phone and he all of a perhaps I am not supposed to and I am this way to make it easier for me to make amends with my past life karma that has so tortured me this life time. I am trying to work out the strained relationship with my son he has some mental health issues and he too took advantage of me as far as my giving nature but that is because he is a man and the masculine energy is now contaminated and men are predators. One of the things I would go back and redo is to stay away from males at all costs, until I was at the minimum 26 years old and to pursue my art with full focus, attention and energy instead. I have been you. Maybe that can lead to a solution of some kind. yes, it bothered me that much. Im passionate about her. It is far better than living like you do I know this. I am starting to learn that sexual aversion can be a number of things, including an involuntary defense mechanism. I actually started to believe it! The counselor felt her heart was not in it and she was just going through the motions. My husband was not able to divorce me in 1989, The state had assigned a guardian ship when he came home from the navys Submarine service where he had just completed three and a half years under water without leave and R and R. I felt guilty about what his father said had to happen on his return home when We did not let him take the 30 days to return to His UAW job after discharge, His father was hoping to drive him back into the military. It can be due to a number of factors, from psychological aversion to sex to sensory issues like Autism and Misophonia (or some combination of all these). I thought of it like energy alchemy, like the right elements have to be there and once that energy of showing disappointment (negativity) or entitlement entered into the realm, the chemistry was ruined. Even more gratifying, having a goal, or a direction to work toward, to hopefully get things back to normal. As though she finally had the excuse she needed to give up and move out. Since then, when Im first with a guy I become nauseous to the point where I feel like throwing up and sometimes do. But, Im still looking forward to when my husband would rather read a good book :).
