Both the Left and the Right have been known to use his insights to demonstrate their own points. Believe me, my friend. ~ (George Carlin). Its hard to say if he was a Republican or a Democrat, however, as he refused to vote, considering it pointless because voting, as he said, is the illusion of choice.[4]. This is the best we can do folks. Women are crazy. WebAmerican stand-up comedian George Carlin is notable for his long-standing popularity from the early 60s up until his death in 2008. Ioanna Zafeiriou And they will readily admit to being awkward: Im such a klutz! But they will never admit to having a poor sense of humor or being a bad driver. ~ (George Carlin). God has. Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. 7. They believe a woman's primary role is to function as a broodmare for the state. Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away. 2. ", "Catholics and other Christians are against abortions and they're against homosexuality. Daniel Kurtzman is a political journalist turned satirist. 100. Trump's latest attack addresses DeSantis' overseas trips to the U.K., Israel, Florida's Covid-19 record, and polling support for the 2024 Presidential race. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. ", "Careful. Stop to think who it is we kill? Just because you got the monkey off your back, doesnt mean the circus has left town. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. Be happy with what youve got. People are dreaming if they think they have rights. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control people's language with strict codes and rigid rules. In America, anyone can become president. And fight songs. Deal with it. ~ (George Carlin). He also suggests that politicians are merely the puppets bringing big businesses plans and ideas to fruition. 120. Because you have the most money? Always do whatevers next. ~ (George Carlin). 57. No neonatal care, no day care, no Head Start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. 98. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. ~ (George Carlin). Pro-life, you don't see many of these anti-abortion women volunteering to have any Black fetuses transplanted into their uteruses, do you? So, have a little fun. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. ~ (George Carlin). No nothing. Carlin considered conservatives and Republicans the greedy, warmongering class in political ideologies. 58. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. They will do anything for the unborn. Surround yourself with what you love. ~ (George Carlin). I'm not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. Carlin is a philosopherwho follows logicTo claim he is left or right is obtuse. 83. You show me a tropical fruit and Ill show you a cocksucker from Guatemala. ~ (George Carlin). I just dont have as many people who believe it. ~ (George Carlin). But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and integrity. An outsider: someone not part of the group. He is mostly non-political except for his involvement with the environmental organization, Greenpeace. 60. Ice Cube and his political affiliations have been in the spotlight ever since White House senior advisor Katrina Pierson publicly thanked the Friday actor for his help in developing the "Platinum Plan" with Trump officials. This wiki was last updated on 11 Apr 2012 by: Today we're opening contributions to all readers. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. Former U.S. representative wonders: Can you keep an (Anthony) Weiner down? George Carlin. People like to twist that around. In a world where we agree on so little, it is nice to have a voice from the past whose bias can not be defined as strictly partisan. Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. ~ (George Carlin). Everything He ever makesdies. They dont fall out of the sky. '", "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. To change your comments display name, click here. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. ~ (George Carlin). Im completely in favour of the separation of Church and State. "Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. Who would've ever thought radical feminists would team up with religious zealots to usher in a new wave of censorship and control?Oh, if Carlin was still alive today. Lee did not involve himself formally in politics, but he was a symbol of diversity and the synthesis of "East" and "West." They brought a new era to the world [], An outstanding jurist and the second woman ever appointed to the U.S. Supreme Court, Ruth Bader Ginsburg trail blazed through [], When trying to write about Ariana Grande, one word comes directly to the mind and sums up everything: phenomenon. I took his shoes. 'Cause pretty soon they have little hats. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Bruce Lee was raised Catholic and Buddhist. Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. ~ (George Carlin). You get up, you go to work, you eat three meals, you take one good s**t, and you go back to bed. Its because volunteers work for no pay. Laughuntil you gasp for breath., I have as much authority as the Pope. Last Updated: 29th April, 2023 14:09 IST International Dance Day 2023: WhatsApp Messages, Wishes, Greetings, Quotes To Share Celebrate International Dance Day 2023 on April 29 by sending WhatsApp messages, wishes, greetings and quotes to those whose passion is dancing. '", Pride should be reserved for something you achieve or obtain on your own, not something that happens by accident of birth. Some people dream of things that never were, and ask, why not? It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. ~ (George Carlin). "I don't know if we could count on any parties to get us out this s**t, to be honest. No, you don't see them adopting a whole lot of crack babies, do you? Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bullshit they teach you in school. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. If at first you dont succeed, redefine success. ~ (George Carlin). I on the other hand, who did not vote, WHO DID NOT VOTE. Swimming is not a sport. They will only bring you down to their level and beat Whether we agreed with his acerbiccommentary or not, his words always reminded us of how sharp a weapon humor can be in slicing through the surface of our assumptions and leaving us, as he would say, gasping for breath.. When you are born in America, you get a front row seat. The only good thing ever to come out of religion was. 27 George Carlin Quotes For Freethinkers and Rebels, Skip our thoughts on George Carlin and jump straight to the quotes, 26 Voltaire Quotes Everyone Should Read Today, Bipartisan Bill Would Ban Children Under 13 From Using Social Media, Anti-Gun Yard Signs Are an Invitation To Criminals. Everyone smiles in the same language. ~ (George Carlin). Its perfect. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. ~ (George Carlin). Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans ready to step in and save the nation and lead the way? The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. Born in New York in 1937, George Carlin was an American comic icon, actor, social critic, and author. I just dont have as many people who believe it. "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Political correctness is America's newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. Deal with it. I hate groups of people. You May Also Like:80 Woody Allen Quotes About Missing Your Own Funeral and Other Life Stories60+ Edgar Allan Poe Quotes to Take You on a Mystery Ride51 Elvis Presley Quotes About the Essence of Life and Rock n Roll, Harvey Bernard Milk (1930-1978) was one of the first openly gay elected officials in the United States. Overnight I became a sun-worshipper. Carlin was brought up Irish Catholic but grew into an outspoken atheist. Dont give your money to the church. April 18, 2023, To Get Exclusive Deals, Latest Products, Free Articles & Libertarian News, 2023 Libertarian Country. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. Religion is just mind control. ~ (George Carlin). These bright quotes will inspire you to not to take things so seriously in life! As for the poor, they tell us theyve 25. 1. They're all in favor of the unborn. Laugh often, long and loud. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? Best George Carlin Quotes. They're anti-woman. 109. "Politicians are there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. [3], Carlin was equally hard on politics as he was on religion. But once youre born, youre on your own. Electricity is really just organized lighting. ~ (George Carlin). If you're born in America you get a front row seat. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed. After harping on his skepticism of politicians, particularly Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, 51-year-old Ice Cube doubled down on his distrust of the government on Tuesday by sharing a famous quote by the late, great comedian George Carlin on Twitter. He was raised an Irish Catholic, even an alter boy, and attended a Catholic school until the age of 15, when he dropped out of school.[1]. I had an imaginary friend I didnt bother with him. ~ (George Carlin). The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. ~ (George Carlin). The Kennedy Center posthumously awarded this year's Mark Twain Prize for American Humor to George Carlin. Reverend Dr. Aiden (@SweetFnLucifer) May 21, 2022. 15. The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin quotes about politics. "I have certain rules I live by. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. As a lifelong stand-up comedian, Carlin had a lot of opportunities to speak his mindand religion and politics were two of his favorite subjects. First of all, I can see the sun, okay? I dont vote. 50. It will not be with jack-boots. If someone understands, good. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked. They don't like women. They're not pro-life. 93. They come from American parents, and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses, and American universities. I'm talking about the real owners, now. Men are stupid. People are wonderful. Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. Now it's the zombie liberal.They say politics makes strange bedfellows--because today, the first amendment is under attack from people on the right and the left. People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think. ~ (George Carlin). They own you. Dont just teach your children to read. See more ideas about george carlin, carlin, quotes. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? Laugh until you gasp for breath. Some people see the glass half full. Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. ~ (George Carlin). The planet is fine. ", "Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. ", When we think of dictators, we think about other countries. Police threw at him.If they were born a decade or two earlier, today's young "social revolutionaries" would've been Carlin fans. Could it be everyone? The people are fucked. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? They want your fucking retirement money. 22. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. - Twyla Tharp -- "Let us dance in the sun, wearing windflowers in our hair." Yeah the public sucks. Theres no present. 9. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. 70. The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. ~ (George Carlin). It will be a lot of fun. Some people see things that are, and ask, why? Follow the link for the full transcript, its worth it, but here are a few choice excerpts: When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. TIME takes a look at some of the legendary comedian's most memorable lines. I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on metheyre cramming for their final exam. We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. Current quotes, historic quotes, movie quotes, song lyric quotes, game quotes Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. 135 Notable Oscar Wilde Quotes on Writing and Life, 105 Frederick Douglass Quotes on Progress & Freedom, 55 William Golding Quotes from Author of Lord of the Flies, 67 Salvador Dali Quotes From The Surreal Spanish Artist, 45 Tee Grizzley Quotes from the American Rapper, 32 Jean Toomer Quotes from American Poet & Novelist. 6. The real owners, the big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions.And, now, they're coming for your Social Security. Never let the brain idle. They [Catholic teachers] would fall back on, Well, its a mystery.[2]. ", "The owners of this country don't want that. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain. ~ (George Carlin). 89. Love, was the kind of person you could hang out with and [], Slim and soft-spoken, endearingly warm and witty, with an enviable knack for captivating the interest of his audiences during his [], How can a sickly boy, suffering from asthma, rickets and rheumatic fever, transform himself into an accomplished gymnast, a wrestler [], With his simple, unpretentious writing style, characterized by an unfiltered, punchy honesty and violent and sexual imagery, Bukowski managed to [], Born in 1910 in Hall, Indiana, John Robert Wooden, aka the Wizard of Westwood, was an American basketball player and [], Short Funny George Carlin Quotes that will make you Laugh, Best George Carlin Quotes to make you Laugh and Think Out of the Box, Insightful George Carlin Quotes on Politics and Government, Inspirational George Carlin Quotes on Life, Society and People, Provocative George Carlin Quotes on Religion that will Remind you there is a Funny Side of God, 80 Woody Allen Quotes About Missing Your Own Funeral and Other Life Stories, 60+ Edgar Allan Poe Quotes to Take You on a Mystery Ride, 51 Elvis Presley Quotes About the Essence of Life and Rock n Roll, 50 Harvey Milk Quotes To Help Us Never Silence Hope, 44 Astonishing Mary Astell Quotes that Spoke of Gender Equality Earlier Than You Think, 50 Unconventional Quotes From Future About Love And Life, 70 Pertinent James Madison Quotes That Can Still Inspire a Better State, 60 Powerful Led Zeppelin Quotes About Love, Life And Death, 65 Exceptional Ruth Bader Ginsburg Quotes About The Fight For Justice, 70 Ariana Grande Quotes That Will Inspire You And Make You Fall In Love, Best 90 George Orwell Quotes on the Danger of Oppression, 75 Jane Austen Quotes on the Truth of Love, The Best Eckhart Tolle Quotes About Now & Being, 70 Karl Marx Quotes to Form Conscience on Social Issues, 60+ Alexander The Great Quotes on the Idea of an Empire, 99 Leonardo Da Vinci Quotes About Knowledge, Art and Inspiration, 50+ Motivational Leo Buscaglia Quotes on Living and Learning, 100+ Yuval Noah Harari Quotes About the World Today, 70+ Joseph Pilates Quotes About the Pilates Method and Your Bodys Potential, 66 Gritty Charles Bukowski Quotes for Restless Souls, 110 John Wooden Quotes to Help You Coach Yourself. 9 View more comments #2 Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. So maybe maybe MAYBE, its not the politicians who suck. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles. ~ (George Carlin). 38. ", "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. Manage Settings Never forget that Hitler was a Catholic. ~ (George Carlin). George Carlin Featured in: George Carlin Quotes Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners. George Carlin George Carlin Quotes 500 WALLPAPERS 8,907 POINTS Seneca Quotes Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize Im listening to it. Do these people honestly think that God is sitting around picking out his favorites? Somebodys gonna be disappointed. Im fu*kin serious! ~ (George Carlin). 116. The career of comedian George Carlin (19372008) spanned five decades, with his first appearance on "The Tonight Show" being in 1962. All Rights Reserved. ", "Here's all you need to know about men and women. WebThis is the best we can do folks. Teach them to question everything. Some national parks have long waiting lists for. 10. WebBest George Carlin Quotes 1. The middle class pays all of the taxes, does all of the work. Read these quotes to gracefully enhance your views about it and make you reflect upon the essence of human spirituality! Gov Greg Abbott is using the border crisis to hurt Black-run, Media Matters bombshell: Tucker Carlson caught slamming streaming service Fox Nation, Donald Trump to participate in a CNN presidential town hall next week, Hillary Clinton shares a graph to slam Trump on natl debt & gets help finishing it, See if you can figure out what President Joe Biden is doing in this clip, Charles Payne spots yet another reason to ban congressional stock trading ASAP, NBC News Ben Collins is sick and tired of editorial boards not talking to actual reporters like, CNN asks why SO many of us are unhappy with the country and THIS is why we cant have nice things, Group that went to bat for UVA hate crime hoaxer rages at right-wing media for telling the, Here's the Montana state rep who'd rather her daughter commit suicide than transition, ABC News: LGBTQ+ lawmakers finding themselves fighting literally just 'to exist', Antony Blinken too busy to say if he accepts that Hunter Biden's laptop was not disinformation, California Do Not Sell My Personal Information, George Carlin wouldnt even want to be claimed as your partisan hero and if that offends you his legacy lives on.

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